Mother's Little Helper

Dear Oma,

That’s the nice thing about being a baby. Everyone thinks you’re napping, but really you hear everything. Kind of like when people think Daddy can’t hear things because never speaks, but then it turns out he hears more than just about anyone else.

Mama had a little trouble last week. Mama cried after Sabrina’s tantrum. Mama also took a little pink pill and talked about “disrespect” when she woke up and found everyone had left lots of things around the house for her to do. Then when we got home from Salt Lake City Mama had to take a little pink pill and go to bed and sleep for 14 hours.

Well, this week Mama and Daddy had a “Come to Jesus” talk. I don’t know what Jesus has to do with it, but that’s what Mama calls it. Now Daddy and Sabrina are working a lot more around the house. Sabrina has to help make the beds in the morning and help put her own laundry away.

Everyone has to do a big family fifteen-minute clean up after dinner but before dessert or anything else good. Mama says we have to find things laying around the house and send them back to their ancestral homelands. (She says Tante Ingrid thought of that funny thing to say.) Mama says that Daddy can call it the “anti-immigration plan” if it makes his Republican self feel better about cleaning up.

Mama seems more cheerful, especially when she sees Daddy folding laundry and doing dishes. She says a man’s work is never done.

Big sister Sabrina has been asking questions about Grammy. Like when will Grammy come back to Grammy and Poppy’s house? Mama says Grammy is in heaven and once you go to heaven you stay there, just like our best golden retriever Shiloh.

Sabrina asked how Grammy got to heaven, and did she drive? Mama said she didn’t drive, but we don’t know exactly how you get to heaven except by grace and good works. That worries me, because I’m not big enough to get a job yet.

Then Sabrina asked about a hundred questions about Shiloh, like did Shiloh lick Sabrina and did he take her teddy bears? Sabrina says she bets Grammy is throwing the ball for Shiloh in heaven.

Big sister wants to know when she will go to heaven, and will Mama and Daddy be there too? Mama said yes, but no one is going for a long long long long long time.

Daddy says don’t plan on having him there too, that he may be hanging out with Uncle Lance and Grandpa Leroy down below. Mama says hush.

Mama says Grammy will always watch over us and we can talk to Grammy any time we want to just by closing our eyes and talking to her— just like we do with God and Jesus. Sabrina got upset and said she didn’t want to close her eyes. Mama said that was fine, that we could talk to God and Jesus and Grammy with our eyes open.

Tante says we might not get an answer just the way we do when we ask Mama or Daddy a question, like why did Thomas the Tank Engine have an accident? But Mama says we might get an answer in our heart.

That sounds like the kind of silly thing big people say when they don’t know the answer, because even I know we hear with our ears. Sabrina is always covering hers when there is a loud noise or she doesn’t like what Mama says.

I forgot to tell you that last week we had a play date with our new dog Sunny’s old family! We had fun. Mama found Sunny on Freecycle. Her old family is very nice and just wanted a fenced yard and a nice home for Sunny-Sun-Sunshine.

Mama said when Sunny’s old family had their twins they added on to their house and lost their fenced yard. Mama says they have more than twins—they have eight children! That’s a lot of children! That mama must need a lot of little pink pills.

Mama also says that Sunny’s old family didn’t mean to have eight kids, it just sort of happened. She says there are other color pills to help with that.

Big sister Sabrina is playing Dr. Sabrina with her doctor kit today. She’s busy taking measurements and pulling pretend beans out of Mama’s ears.

Tell her to get away from me with that needle thing. I had a run-in with one of those on Friday, and I didn’t like it one bit. I cried and cried, but they poked me anyway. I had to cry until Mama held me and I fell asleep.

Love,
Little Linnie Lou-Hoo

P.S. Instead of being a regular doctor like Dr. Sabrina, I am going to be a dentist. I like to put my finger in Mama’s mouth and pull until she opens wide.