Cheech? This is Chong.

Dear Oma and Tante,

Sister is in Trou-BLE!

That shy big Sister who doesn’t play with anyone at preschool?

Yep. She found a friend.

Sabrina met a chatty little girl in ballet class, and the two of them decided to ham it up. They were chattering and making faces at each other and sticking out their tongues and then dissolving into a pile of giggling tutus.

It was most unladylike.

Mama and Daddy were both mad. After about three seconds of squiggling tongues, Mama marched out and waded through a pile of pink little girls and told Sabrina to listen to her teacher.

While Mama was talking, Sabrina was nodding and saying, “okay, okay.” And she tried to listen to the teacher for a minute. But soon she was giggling in first position, laughing in lower fifth, sticking her fingers in her mouth to make clown faces instead of doing pliés, and sticking out her tongue instead of sticking out her toes in battement tendu.

Mama tried giving Sister THE LOOK and tried to mime “listen” to Sabrina a bunch of times, but Sabrina was laughing too hard to get it.

I don’t blame her. It just looked like Mama had an ear infection.

So Mama marched out there again and told Sabrina to knock it off. And Sabrina tried. She really did. She tried to hold all the laugh inside.

But then the other little girl made a face and all that laugh exploded out.

Suddenly the two of them were off — racing around the room like track stars and giggling and waggling their tongues instead of doing fairy princess walks in a tight little circle.

Daddy just shook his head and said, “Well, at least we know what’s going to happen the first time someone asks her if she wants to smoke pot.”

You Should See The Other Guy

 

The other guy is a couch. 

And One More Thing

Dear Oma and Tante,

Mama has made a February resolution. She calls it her “Just One Thing” Plan. She’s decided to get rid of Just One Thing from the house every day, until out little house in Provo is as clean as a whistle and as organized as Miss Brooke Frost’s house.

You don’t know Miss Brooke? Well, she’s super organized. Mama loves going to her house. She gets a little giddy. There are labels everywhere.

I don’t like the “Just One Thing” Plan. In the past week alone the following items have walked out of the house:

A bag of cat food
A bag of food from the pantry
A bag of tea bags 
A bunch of folders,
A bunch of hair clips
A butcher block cutting board
A coffee grinder
A curling iron
A diaper bag
All my 12-18 month clothes
A popcorn bowl
A rotating spice rack
A straightening iron
A spaetzle press
AND
A waffle maker.

I think Katie Dog might be next.

Mama gave away all those things just this week. You don’t want to know all the things that have left the house this year. We’re lucky Mama has left us some pants.

Some things she takes to Deseret Industries. That’s the Mormon Thrift Shop. I think she’s trying to make up for all the ways she tests their faith.

Most things go to Freecycle. Mama types away on the computer and then flings some bagged item onto the porch. Before you know it some nice person drives up, hops out of the car, grabs what’s on the porch, hops back in the car, and zooms away. I’m pretty sure that if you just hung out on our porch for a while you could score some pretty good stuff.

If you see me sitting on the porch, will you come and get me?

Love,
Little Nea

P.S. Mama says, “Don’t worry, it’s not the one you gave us for our wedding.”