GAK!

Dear Tante and Oma,

Today I threw up for the first time! Every baby can spit up, but not every baby can throw up. That’s a completely different kind of UP.

At dinner Mama fed me some things. Plain potatoes mashed with a little cow’s milk. That was new. Puréed peas. That was old. A taste of goat cheese. That was yucky. I made my blech face and left my mouth open until it fell out. That goat should be ashamed of himself.

I have my very own purple cup now, and I drank myself lots of water from my very own purple cup.

We were all eating and before you know it I made some cat sounds and some things came up. Just like BOO! Then I made some more cat sounds and more and more things came up. Just like BOO! Mr. Boo and I can make the same GAK sounds. I knew that little cat was my friend. He just doesn’t know it yet. Mama says that’s because he tries to share my pack-and-play and I YANK his fur. But I’m just trying to say HI!

After I made cat sounds Mama made me get all naked and cleaned me off with a warm wet washcloth and then made me sit there while everybody else ate dinner. I watched and gummed some things on my highchair and I made chewing faces. Finally she let me eat some rice cereal with formula milk. Since I didn’t make anymore GAK sounds she let me go on our walk, but then after our walk she made me take a bath.

I love to take baths with big sister Sabrina. She puts water on my head until Mama makes her stop. Then she splashes me until Mama makes her stop. Then she tries to slide down the side of the tub until Mama makes her stop.

When she’s done STOPPING we both go BANG BANG BANG with our hands in the water and KICK KICK KICK with our feet in the water. I chew on a pink rubber ducky. The ducky has a mouth but he doesn’t chew back.

After a while Mama washes me and makes me get out of the bath. I scream. She picks me up. I scream. She washes my bottom and puts me back in the bath. I stop screaming. She gets me out again. I scream. But Mama says she doesn’t negotiate with terrorists and wraps me in a towel like a BURRITO and moisturizes me like a TRUSSED CHICKEN and then puts me in jamas and takes me away. Then I give up and stop crying and just suck my pacie while Mama gets me a bottle.

After I drink my bottle Mama says I have to go to sleep but I say NO NO NO GA GA GA DA DA DA CAW CAW CAW. I grab her glasses. Mama takes them off. I grab the remote. Mama takes it away. I push Mama’s face over so I can fiddle with her earrings. She takes her face away. Sometimes she tricks me and isn’t wearing earrings. Then I trick her back and I GRAB her hair and I YANK! She says NO NO NO and I say that I agree, NO NO NO but she means a different NO.

While Mama and I say NO NO NO to each other, Big Sisser Sabrina gets in her jammies and brushes her teeth. I have a toothbrush now with my very own toothpaste for my TWO teeth. Mama bought me THOMAS toothpaste, but now big sisser Sabrina has started using all my Thomas toothpaste day and night. All day long she says she wants to brush her teeth but really she wants Thomas and not her big girl SPARKLE toothpaste.

Today she went to find Mama so she could brush her teeth AGAIN and said to Mama, “Again With the Teeth Brushing!” Mama laughed and asked who taught her to say that. Daddy says Mama doesn’t have to look far to see who talks like that.

Love,
Little Linnie Lou-Hoo

P.S. Terrorist Sabrina is in big trouble. Mama has been reading.

Today Sabrina wanted her quiet time juice in a THOMAS cup. Mama said Sabrina you have juice in your yellow cup and water in your Thomas cup and they both right there next to you. Sabrina said put the juice in the Thomas cup. Mama said no, she was on her way downstairs with laundry and Sabrina should rest.

Well, that Sabrina was mighty unhappy. Sabrina whined. Mama said she wouldn’t listen to whining. Sabrina cried. Mama WALKED OUT and didn’t say anything else.

Even I know that a quiet Mama can be a dangerous Mama.

Sabrina cried and whined and cried and carried on and fussed and cried and threw her cup on the floor and cried some more. But Mama ignored her and didn’t talk to her and didn’t ask her what was wrong and didn’t fix the juice and didn’t go back upstairs.

In the end big sister Sabrina cried herself to sleep and slept for two hours. She woke up PERKY and Mama said juice was a silly thing to cry so much about. Silly Sabrina agreed.

If Sabrina isn’t careful she’ll ruin the crying and whining before I even get a chance to try it.

P.P.S. Sabrina scolded Mama this morning for putting an empty cup on the wood table without something underneath. Oma, are you proud?