Gobble Gobble

Thanksgiving Math (by Mama):

Pounds of turkey cooked: 14
Pounds of turkey actually needed: .5

Number of pies cooked: 1
Number of pies actually needed: 7

Number of regular burns inflicted: 1
Number of blistering burns inflicted: 1

Number of bites of Thanksgiving dinner eaten by Linnea: 1
Number of bites of Thanksgiving dinner spit out by Linnea before Mama quit trying: 7
Actual nutrition provided to Linnea by: 1 banana

Number of dishes Sabrina was willing to consume: 1 (cranberry jelly)
Number of tears wept by Sabrina when told she had to have a bite of everything on her plate before eating pie: 47,000
Actual nutrition provided to Sabrina by: 1 banana

Number of beers consumed by Daddy: 3
Number of football games watched by Daddy: 2
Number of children who realized for the first time that the turkey was really a turkey: 1