Real Genius

Dear Oma and Tante,

I don’t mean to brag, but I may be a genius.

Seriously. A real genius.

This poster should say, "Linnea Heiny: Real Genius."

Consider the things I have done in the last THREE days.

1. When Mama heard the train and said, “There’s Thomas! Whoo-whoo!” I wiggled and moved my hands in circles like train wheels and said, “tchoo-tchoo?!” Brilliant, right?

2. I can cry and say, “Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.” Mama says I could be saying “Mama” or I could just be informing everyone that I’m mad. Isn’t it the same thing? This means I am a verbal genius, and will likely ace my SAT's.

3. Now when I make the sign for “ALL DONE,” I mean it! This means I am now fully bilingual.

4. When Sabrina climbs into Mama’s lap, I scream. Loud. It’s MY Mama, and I don’t intend to let that Big Sister take my Mama by adverse possession. This means I am now able to practice law.

5. I have a “Mr. Pointer.” Mr. Pointer is a magical thing. Does everyone have a Mr. Pointer? I think not, or the world would be a very happy place.

Mr. Pointer is good for getting things. I point to what I want and I grunt. If Mama doesn’t get it in one, I point again and shriek. Then Mama delivers what I want! This means I now have a magic wand.

I can also use Mr. Pointer to point out criminals and other mean people. For example, at gymnastics class I use it to point to my teacher, Miss Katelynn. Miss Katelynn is the rat who makes me do somersaults and hang from the bars and other kinds of abuse.

Last Saturday when Miss Katelynn came over to me, I hooked one arm around Mama’s neck, and used the other hand to point to Miss Katelynn. Then I gave Miss Katelynn a dirty look. Really dirty.

In my head I was saying, “J’accuse!” Mama must not have heard me, because she didn’t have Miss Katelynn arrested. I’ll try again next week.

Anyway, this means I am now a crime fighter.

At this rate, I may win the Nobel Prize before I turn four.

Love,
Little Nea