Overheard

Erik: I think we’re going to have to give Linnea the same speech Aunt Suzie gave John.
Louisa: What’s that?
Erik: Aunt Suzie took John aside when he was a teenager and told him, “Your brothers will always have lots of dates, because they are good-looking. But don’t get discouraged. Eventually the girls will become interested in brains and personality.” We may have to use that same speech to explain why Sabrina has so many dates and Linnea’s dance card is empty.
Louisa: Linnea is only one-year-old. What will we say? “Sabrina has so many dates because she’s pretty. But someday the boys will become attracted to screaming and throwing your milk cup”?

Scene: Louisa and Sabrina are discussing the Disney Princess Sing-A-Long video.
Louisa: What is your favorite song?
Sabrina: Sleeping Beauty.
(Note: Sabrina has spent the last year being afraid of Sleeping Beauty, and only recently graduated to a willingness to be in the same room while Sleeping Beauty sings).
Louisa: I’m surprised. You normally don’t even want to be in the room when it’s on. Why is it your favorite?
Sabrina: Because I’m getting better at watching it.

Scene: Bathtub. Sabrina is repeatedly pouring water into an old Tupperware container and stirring it around.
Sabrina: “I’m putting milk in the cup. I’m making cow soup!”

Sabrina: “Why does the wind lift the balloons?”
Mama: “The wind lifts everything that’s light.”
(pause)
Sabrina: “Does it lift everything that’s dark too?”

Sabrina: “Mama, did you have a baby?”
Mama: “Yes, honey, I had you and I had Linnea.”
Sabrina: “Did I come out of your tummy?”
Mama: “Yes.”
(Sabrina starts looking for Mama’s C-Section scar)
Sabrina: “Do you have a scarf?”

Scene: Living room floor. Mama and the girls are playing. Mama stands up.
Mama: “I have to go potty.”
Sabrina: “Good job Mama!!”

Scene: Grabbing Linnea as she tries to dive off the bed.
Erik: Linnea is in the stage where she tries to commit suicide twice an hour, every hour.

Scene: Ingrid, Nat and Daniel have arrived for a visit. Daniel and Sabrina have disappeared. Erik goes to investigate and returns to report.
Erik: Daniel is upstairs reading the luggage tag to Sabrina. She’s strangely interested.

Scene: Having lunch with the Blairs and discussing discipline.
David Blair: What sort of consequences do you use with Sabrina?
Louisa: Mostly Time Out. Going to your room is the nuclear option.
Erik: Since I’m home with the girls, we’re working on a new nuclear option. I’m building a woodshed in the backyard.

Scene: Sabrina “writes” a letter, seals it in an envelope, and gives it to me.
Sabrina: Mama, give this letter to the poker carrier so Linnea won’t get poked with anything!

Erik: Linnea’s head is shaped like an upside-down triangle.
Louisa: It’s heart-shaped.
Erik: A heart-shaped head? Where did you get that?
Louisa: No, a heart-shaped face. Haven’t you heard of that? Everyone’s face is either round, oval, square, or heart-shaped. Mine is oval. Linnea’s is heart-shaped.
Erik: What shape is mine?
Louisa: Oval. (Pause. Snort.) With a pinhead on top.
Erik: Fine. Linnea has a heart-shaped face. (Pause). With a frying pan on top.