If You’re Going to San Francisco, Be Sure to Wear Raisins In Your Hair

Dear Oma and Tante,

Today Mama was trying to brush Big Sister’s hair and found a big sticky glob in it. After consulting with Daddy, they finally figured out the mystery of the glob. It was a RAISIN! A big old smashy raisin.

Mama’s a little confused because Big Sister hasn’t had raisins since yesterday morning. She says Sabrina can just ask for snacks. She doesn’t have to pack her own.

Daddy says we should watch out for other things hiding in Sister’s hair. Like Jimmy Hoffa.

Who’s Jimmy Hoffa? And why would he be in Sister’s hair?

My Poppy is visiting me! Yesterday when we got home from the airport he took Sabrina out back to play. While he was outside he picked up lots of the dogs’ poop-a-loops. He had a whole bag full. Mama says, “Forget Thomas the Tank Engine. Poppy is a Really Useful Poppy!”

Mama told Daddy that Poppy found so many poop-a-loops out there that Daddy must not be doing his job of daily pickup very well. Daddy says he must be bad at that job and Mama should do it instead. Mama says she has enough poop in her life, and doesn’t need to add any more.

Poppy and Daddy have been golfing and watching the U.S. Open together. Daddy watches the golf on the television and the golf on the Internet at the same time so he can keep tabs on Ernie Els.

Ernie Els is Daddy’s most favorite golfer. Ernie is currently tied for 111th place. Daddy isn’t happy. If Ernie doesn’t make the cut then the Open is OVER as far as Daddy is concerned.

Ernie Els is such Daddy’s favorite that Big Sister Sabrina’s first sentence was “Ernie, Make A Put!” Daddy says instead she should have said, “Ernie, Make The Cut!”

Love,
Little Linnie Lou-Hoo

P.S. Sabrina is running around like a banshee yelling about being in a parade. She’s got her horsy riding on her giraffe in the parade. Mama says that’s really rather unnatural, but Sister is undeterred.