I'm Just Mad About Sharing, and It's Just Mad About Me

Dear Oma and Tante,

Silly Sisser Sabrina has some new names for me. Mostly she calls me her “Dear Little Honey.” Sometimes she calls me her “Dear Little Sister Linnea.” Sometimes she calls me her “Dear Little ‘Nea.” Sometimes she calls me “Little Sweetheart” or “Little Sisser Misser.”

Then she brains me with a book.

I’m a very confused.

Mostly she tells me she loves me. She brings me toys and hands me books when I can’t reach them and shows me how to crawl and bakes me pretend birthday cakes. Except I’m not allowed to touch the pretend cake or play with it and she WHIPS it away from me when I try.

She also writes invitations to “Dear Little Honey’s Birthday Party.” She likes to sing, “Come celebrate Dear Little Honey’s birthday!” while she’s drawing an invitation. She runs over to show me her drawings. But I’m not allowed to chew on the invitations and she WHIPS them away from me when I try.

She gives me lots of hugs. Then she pushes me over.

Sometimes she calls me “stinky.” Mama says, “Sabrina, this is your ONE warning.” If Sabrina calls me stinky again Mama calls “Time Out!” Then Sabrina has to go sit on the naughty mat. She seems pretty cheerful about it.

Sometimes she sings a song about how stinky I am. She sings, “Linnie is a stinky stinky baby.” She sang it at Wal-Mart until Mama said if Sabrina sang it one more time there would be a consequence. And don’t think Mama won’t do Time Out at Wal-Mart.

Sabrina started singing again: “Linnie is . . . NOT a stinky stinky baby.” Mama said that’s what we call adhering to the letter of the law but not the spirit.

At bedtime she wants me to come and kiss her goodnight. If I’m already asleep in my own bed then Sabrina asks, “Is Little Sisser Misser dreaming about me?” And Mama says, “Yes.” Mama knows everything— even my dreams.

Once Sister ran full out at me, screaming. Then she screeched to a halt and stole my pacie out of my mouth. She got a big Time Out for that one.

Mama says that we can have two conflicting ideas in our heads at the same time. This means one sister can love another sister and be mad at her sister at the same time.

This is very confusing to me. I’m still working on having one idea in my head at a time.

Mama gets very mad if Sisser is mean to me. She gives Sisser a Time Out and then makes her say she’s sorry—not once, but twice. First she has to say sorry to Mama, then she has to say sorry to me and give me a gentle touch or a kiss. Then Mama says we have to be always kind and gentle to each other because we are SISTERS FOREVER. She also says I’m not allowed to pull Sister’s hair, which is disappointing to me.

Mama asked Sabrina how she feels about having a sister. Sabrina looked at Mama like she was silly and said, “good.” Then she went away to play.

The next day Sabrina asked Mama if Mama knew why Sabrina got angry with me. Mama said she didn’t know, and asked Sabrina to tell her. Sabrina said, “I don’t like sharing my toys.”

This could be a problem.

Love,
Little Linnie Lou-Hoo

P.S. I heard that this week my cousin Daniel graduated from kindergarten! Daddy says we should only attend graduations for people who have learned skills that will get them a job. Mama says that if that were the rule then nobody would have gone to her college graduation.